So I’ve been living full time for about three months now. It’s only been three months. Ninety Days. 2160 hours. I pass fairly well and my friends and coworkers see me as a woman. This has brought on many changes, most of which I am extremely happy with. However, I’ve begun to see the darker side of things as well.
Women correctly see me as the woman I am now, and are now sharing with me information that, pre-transition was not a subject of discussion. Every woman I have gotten to know even slightly more than as an acquaintance has this kind of story. Some only have one, others, multiple. They all have one though, the story about the time they were raped, sexually assaulted, touched inappropriately, feared for their life or similar danger entirely because they are female. That this problem is so prevalent and I had no idea about while I was living as a male, scares and shocks me to no end. I dearly hope I have not contributed to the problem. I witnessed a situation a few weeks ago that, thankfully didn’t escalate too much. However, the girl that whose space was being invaded was triggered. She spent the rest of the night terrified and reliving some terrible memory of her past. The guy who caused this didn’t even realize that it was his fault, when he left, it was because he thought he was having a fight with someone else.
The girl has a mutual friend with me and we work with the guy in question. This got to me even more, because the mutual friend thought it was her fault. (let’s call her, the mutual friend and my coworker, Natalie) Not only is the girl who got triggered freaking out, Natalie is also afraid. Natalie is now uncomfortable around this guy as well, but is afraid to say anything about it to our managers because she thinks she will get in trouble for causing friction at work. I’ve never been more furious. I went to work with her to make sure she was comfortable and to inform the managers myself, because she shouldn’t have to back off to make room for a guy who doesn’t understand boundaries.
I have a new purpose in life. I won’t let any of this stand. I won’t let anyone be put in these uncomfortable situations. I won’t let the ones who commit these acts go unpunished. That these types of things are so common and just swept under the rug is the most infuriating thing I’ve ever heard. There is a lot to say on this subject, and I’m not that educated about it, but I know it’s as wrong as anything can be, and I will do my best to change things.